


When Lonely Calls

by bsgtrekkie



Series: The Whiskey Trilogy [1]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-28 03:02:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30133020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bsgtrekkie/pseuds/bsgtrekkie
Summary: Chakotay thought Kathryn had come back to her crew and to him when they escaped the Void.  The look on her face as she left the bridge said otherwise.
Relationships: Chakotay & Kathryn Janeway, Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Series: The Whiskey Trilogy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2217717
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	When Lonely Calls

**Author's Note:**

> This work is inspired by one of three songs I heard on a Trisha Yearwood album. I like to call the selections "The Whiskey Trilogy" and would like to one day complete a series based on them. The stories will be separate works connected only by the fact that they are based on songs that reference whiskey (or what I have inferred to be whiskey).
> 
> "When Lonely Calls" is the first of the series. I hope to use the summer months to complete this particular collection. 
> 
> Though I have posted stories on other sites, this is my first work here and is my first ST:V fic. I hope you enjoy. If you do and would like to see future works, please be patient. I find that my inspiration to write and the time to make the writing happen are often on separate schedules. 
> 
> "When Lonely Calls"  
> performed by Trisha Yearwood  
> songwriter: Jeffrey Allen Steele

With _Voyager_ having exited the Void and Emck and the Malon put behind them, for the moment anyway, Chakotay finished the last of his reports and turned the bridge over to Harry at the end of his shift. He was a bit concerned about their captain, who had disappeared again after getting their ship back on course. He did not expect the daily goings on to return to normal immediately, but he had expected at least a small improvement to start things off. She was so stone-faced when she entered the turbolift. Chakotay couldn’t fool himself. He wasn’t worried about the captain. He was worried about Kathryn. When he exited the bridge, his destination was the captain’s quarters. 

After having his chime ignored three times and knowing she was in her quarters, Chakotay tapped his communicator. “Chakotay to Janeway. Kathryn, I don’t want to use my override code, but I will if you don’t open this door.”

The doors swished open, and Chakotay stepped in. The room was darkened as it had been the last time he had reported to her. The biggest difference was the view outside the window. Music was playing – a somber melody with lyrics that appeared to be playing themselves out before his eyes. Kathryn sat in her corner, gazing out into space with a glass in her hand. The bottle sat near her, and her beverage of choice appeared to be Jameson Irish whiskey this evening. 

_The good times come and go/  
But the bad times take a hold/  
Every chance they get/  
And when you're hurt inside/  
It's an easy ride/  
Down that amber current cold and fast/  
Into that glass of ice/  
When lonely calls_

“That’s a change for you. I don’t know that I’ve ever heard this song or this style of music in your collection.”  
  
“It’s new to me, too. I found it in Tom’s music collection. It’s a 21st-century song from the – what did he call it – country genre. It appears that particular musical style can cut straight to the soul,” she responded. She still had not looked in his direction and seemed to be focused more on the drink in her hand than the conversation.

“You know, they say one should never drink alone, especially when in another’s company.”

She extended the bottle in Chakotay’s direction, finally looking his way, and pointed to the empty mate to her glass. “Help yourself.” 

He walked to her to take the bottle and used the time it took to pour himself two fingers of whiskey to analyze what he had just taken view of. Kathryn was still in her uniform slacks and undershirt, her jacket draped over the back of an empty chair. She had removed her boots and socks, which sat neatly by her seat. She sat sideways in her chair, one leg tucked under her, so she could rest her arm on the back as she stared out the viewport. She looked tired. Damned tired. He wondered when she had last gotten a full night’s sleep.

“Kathryn, what can I do? How do I help you?” Chakotay asked as he put down the bottle and pulled an empty chair to sit beside her.

“There’s nothing for you to do, Chakotay. I have to work my way through this like I always do.”

“By isolating yourself from those who care most about you so you can torture yourself in private? No, I don’t think so. There has to be a better way.” He could see she was growing agitated by the way she was playing with the rim of her glass and biting the inside of her lip. “What is causing this?”

“I don’t know!” she finally exclaimed, slamming her glass down. She stood and began pacing the empty space. “If I knew that, I wouldn’t have to deal with this damned situation over and over again! I thought I would be okay once we had a distraction, once we started getting sensor readings again.”  
  
“You seemed to be in better spirits on the bridge. Something changed toward the end of your shift. Your body language changed completely, and what little happiness there was vanished from your face.”

“What? Were you watching me the entire shift? How would you know what my expressions were?”

“I happened to be concerned for my dearest friend and wanted to make sure she was okay.” He stood and placed his drink down, walking over to take her by the hand.

“Don’t,” she said, pulling her hand away. “Don’t stand there prepared to serve the same placations, telling me everything is okay and all is forgiven, when I know why we’re out here and who is to blame.”

“How many times must we go over this?” His voice was a bit more forceful. “No one on this ship blames you for our situation, Kathryn! We accept that this is what life had in store for us and intend to fight like hell, by your side mind you, to get back home. Why can’t you accept that?” He took her by the shoulders to make her look into his eyes. She seemed even smaller standing before him with her boots off. He could see the tears she was trying to hold at bay and could also see that she was losing the battle. 

“The quiet! I can’t accept it because of the quiet! I work through the chaos and the reports and the malfunctioning gel packs so I don’t have to think about it all. And then, I come back here to the quiet, and it overwhelms me for a brief time. I usually convince myself that I will make it through because there’s something waiting around the proverbial corner.” Tears had begun to escape her eyes, and she tried to turn from him, but he wouldn’t let her. A strangled sound came from her as she attempted to swallow a sob. Chakotay loosened his grip on her shoulders and allowed his hands to travel down her arms to hold her hands.

“And the Void stopped providing you distractions. You alluded to that in one of our conversations.”

“I was finally close to feeling a bit of hope until I realized I would be coming back here to face the quiet once more.”

“I wish you had come to me, Kathryn.”

She released his hands and walked back to the view port, scrubbing both her hands down her face and dropping her hands to her sides. “And what would you have done? This is something that cannot be fixed easily. It’s a cycle with varying frequency and waves of differing amplitudes. It’s not your issue to face.” Her voice sounded almost as empty as the void they had just exited. 

“Perhaps not, but it is not an issue you should face alone. I know you have probably discussed the issue with Tuvok, but you need someone who will walk through this journey with you, who understands the aspect of the emotions, if not the emotions themselves. I am not a counselor. I cannot diagnose or treat you, but I can be here for you. Let me be here for you. Don’t you know how much I care for you?”

“Cared.”

“What?”

“I know how much you _cared_ for me. We’ve crossed that bridge, and I cannot continue putting you in a position you no longer want to fill. I will not hold you to an unspoken promise I should never have let you make. You see? One more decision I took upon myself without looking to the other party involved! Damned parameters.” She didn’t think she could be heard whispering the last two words, but she was wrong.

He could hear the tears in her voice. Walking to her, he turned her to him once more. “First, let’s get one thing straight -- right here and right now. You don’t get to tell me whether I do or don’t care for you. Second, I have never stopped caring for you. If anything, you have embedded yourself deeper in my heart than is imaginable.” He hesitated, deep in thought. When he spoke again, he said, “You know, maybe you’re right. I don’t care for you.”

Kathryn’s heart shattered upon hearing her deepest fear finally confirmed. He was finally tired of lying her, and she deserved it. 

“I love you,” he said, tipping her chin up to make her look at him. Her expression of confused shock made him smile that deadly smile of his. “What would ever make you think I don’t care for you?”

Kathryn took a moment to process what she had just heard. Her response was like a sucker punch to Chakotay’s gut. “Riley Frazier and Kellin.”

It was his turn to look away. He pinched the bridge of his nose and then quickly turned back to her. “Wait. How do know you about Kellin? Everyone on the crew has forgotten about her and the other tracers.”

“You showed me your handwritten account after one of our dinners. I guess the actual wine instead of synthehol had quite an effect on you that night. You just said you love me, Chakotay. How can that be true – how can you care so deeply – and fall so quickly for not one, but two women? And in such a short period of time?”

He could see the pain in her eyes and would have given his life to end it. “Let’s just say I had some issues of my own to work through. Taking them to my friend would have damaged the friendship.”

“Another mess I made.”

“No, Kathryn,” he sighed in exasperation. “I have never blamed you for the stance you took on our relationship. I have never been angry with you because of it. I simply coped with it a bit differently than I should have. Those relationships would have never lasted, even without the conflicts they brought.” He walked over and took her hands, holding them to his heart. “They weren’t you.” 

After a moment, he continued, “Had I not been so weak, I could have been here for you. You would not have questioned my devotion and possibly would have confided in me. I let you down,” he said drawing her nearer, “and I never want to do that again.” With his mouth a whisper away from hers, he could see the amazement in her blue eyes. “Kathryn, I am about to breach parameters. If you don’t want that to happen, you need to tell me to stop.”

Her response took Chakotay by surprise as she closed the gap and held him tightly to her as they kissed with the passion of two years of suppressed emotion. She hadn’t felt those emotions for so long. She had only allowed herself grief, guilt, and loneliness.

The kiss became wild and heated. Kathryn was the one to take control of the situation as she slowed their actions so she could remove Chakotay’s jacket. He broke the kiss and looked at her as if to ask if she was sure. Her answer was a wink and a nudge for him to help her remove it. “You never take your jacket off when we have dinner in my quarters, not even when we have drinks afterward,” she said as she placed a kiss on his undershirt-clad chest. “Why is that?”

Chakotay was breathless as he kept from pinching himself to see if he was dreaming. “I suppose I felt that if one of us was still in command red, we would not cross certain barriers.”

“I see,” she responded throwing his jacket to one of the empty chairs. “I would say your theory may prove itself true. Take off your shirt.” 

Chakotay did as he was told, dropping it to his feet, and moved behind Kathryn to unzip her second layer. Once it was removed, he could not resist massaging the small, smooth shoulders in front of him. When Kathryn sighed, he leaned forward to kiss the back of her neck and reached to remove the tank from her waistband, drawing it up over head. The pile of garments grew as both her pieces joined his. 

Chakotay returned to his position facing Kathryn and marveled at the sight before him. Standing before him was the petit object of his affection, barefoot and clad in basic bra and uniform slacks. Her skin was beautifully freckled, and he could tell how soft it was just by looking. 

Kathryn’s eyes were taking in quite the spectacle themselves. Chakotay was not necessarily a sculpture of Adonis, but he was beautiful, with a deep-seeded strength and grace in the way he moved. 

Neither individual made a move to touch the other out of fear of losing all control. 

Kathryn reached behind her to release the clasps of her bra and removed it slowly. She hesitated before completely revealing herself.

“Please, my love, let me see you,” Chakotay gently pleaded. His reward was sheer beauty. Her breasts were not overly large and not all that small. They fit her frame beautifully. He stood in awe, but he found his moment of admiration disrupted when he noticed Kathryn’s stance was taking on that of a much more self-conscious person than he would assume her to be.

“You’re absolutely breathtaking. I would like to see the rest of you.”

“The feeling is mutual,” she replied, her voice showing signs of breathlessness. 

As she reached for the fastening of her slacks, Chakotay mirrored her motions, taking care of his and toeing off his boots and removing his socks in the process. They each unfastened and removed the now offending garments along with their underwear, stepping out of them and toward each other.

Each took a gulp at what they saw. Kathryn was particularly distracted by the sight of just how aroused her angry warrior appeared to be.

Chakotay reached to take Kathryn into his arms and kiss her, but she held her hand up to stop him. He took on a look of confusion.

With a smile, she answered his thought. “I have no intention of screwing on the floor like a couple of teenagers. I intend to make love, and if you touch me right now...”

Without hesitation, Chakotay scooped Kathryn into his arms. She was giggling like a first-year cadet as he strode toward her bedroom. 

Chakotay lay Kathryn on the bed, resting above her, balancing himself in a way that his body was making minimal contact with hers. It was just enough to make her internally scream, for she wanted to feel all of him pressing against her. As he treated her body with soft kisses along the perimeter of her face and drifted lower to her neck and shoulders, Chakotay showered Kathryn with words of affection. Any other time, Kathryn would melt at the sentiments, but she simply wanted to be in the moment. She wanted to feel his mouth on her skin. She wanted to feel his hands tracing over her as a sculptor would his latest work of art. She wanted to feel him loving her. She wanted to feel. 

Chakotay’s words continued as he nuzzled into the curve that joined her shoulder and her neck, the warmth of his breath and the gentle sucking and licking sending magical thrills through her body. “Kathryn, I love you more than you will ever know. I plan to spend what days of my life you allow me showing you just …” His words faltered when Kathryn’s hands cradled his face and brought him eye-to-eye with her. 

“Chakotay. Stop. Talking,” she said breathlessly, bringing his lips to hers in a heated kiss as she brought one hand to his back and one to the base of his skull in an effort to bring their bodies closer together. 

Chakotay took the cue, relaxing into her body, one leg between her legs, his chest meeting hers for the first time. The charge between them as their bodies made contact was enough to cause them to break their kiss and gasp for breath. Kathryn’s stunned expression frightened Chakotay when he saw it appear, but only for a moment. She quickly put his fear at ease when she brought her mouth back to his, this time hungrier than the last. She alternated between licking and suckling his bottom lip until he allowed his tongue to begin toying with hers. The only sounds in the room were those of heavy breathing and skin caressing skin as hands began to roam, hers traveling the expanse of Chakotay’s muscled back and lower to the soft flesh of his ass, and his reaching back to send sensation up Kathryn’s body, stroking her from her ankle all the way up to her breast, where he stopped to pay particular attention. 

As his hand made its way up her body, Chakotay broke their kiss and began to travel lower to meet it. Kathryn’s breath hitched when he found the soft flesh behind her ear, and she released something between a squeal and a moan when he took the breast he was not massaging into his mouth. After circling her nipple and nipping it a few times, causing Kathryn to begin to arch and squirm beneath him, he traded breasts. The sensations from the switch were nearly enough to send her over the edge. “ _My god_ ,” she thought, “ _if he can make me feel like this with a little breast play, I might not survive the night_.” She was quickly brought out of her thoughts when she felt Chakotay’s body begin to shift further down hers. His kisses tickled her ribs and navel; his hands explored her hips, buttocks, and thighs and caused her to hold her breath when her brain caught up with her and she realized what was about to happen. 

She’d never been a fan of oral sex. Every partner she had ever known had proved greatly disappointing in that field. They were always satisfied with a couple of flicks and a lick before they had their way with her, and she did not want to be disappointed again. Kathryn reached down to stop Chakotay but was too late. Before she could make her move, he parted her legs and pressed a kiss to her clit, gently sucking as he did so. The surge of erotic energy that coursed through her slammed her back to the mattress, and she released a deep moan that she had never heard come from her throat before. Chakotay increased the suction to the sensitive spot and massaged her labia as Kathryn felt her body responding to his manipulations. He then inserted a finger into her canal, twisted it within her, and began moving it in a come-hither motion that allowed him to make contact with that magical, tender spot no other man had ever bothered to find within her. Kathryn’s undulating body and melodic moaning told Chakotay he was where he needed to be, so he added a second, then a third finger to the task. When he increased his speed and pressure, continuing the loving attention to her clit all the while, he heard Kathryn’s moans go up an octave and felt her muscles begin to contract. He also felt the precious nectar he had been hoping to release from her body and was sure to drink of it to his heart’s content. The sight and sound of Kathryn’s orgasm shot straight to Chakotay’s cock, forcing him to regain control of the organ he had been successfully ignoring a moment ago. He wanted to be sure his love was satisfied before he sought his own release. 

When he felt Kathryn’s body begin to relax, indicating that she was coming down from her high, Chakotay removed his fingers, immediately bringing them to replace his mouth and began skimming over her clit as quickly as he could until he heard a low and strained, “AH!” come from the head of the bed indicating another orgasm was imminent. Muscles were once again contracting, and Kathryn writhed on the bed, holding on to the sheets for dear life as she arched into near flight. When Chakotay removed his hand from her clit and began pumping into her canal with two fingers at a pace she did not know was humanly possible, she felt her body literally gush. She would never be able to discern the sounds emanating from her. Chakotay continued his ministrations until Kathryn felt a third wave hit her. She had never experienced multiple orgasms and had most certainly never – what did they call it – squirted. Now, she had done both and feared she could very well pass out.

She placed a hand over Chakotay’s to still him. He accepted the signal and traveled up her body. As he did so, he took the liberty of licking his hand clean of Kathryn’s essence, save one finger, which Kathryn brought to her own mouth and sucked clean. She did not know what possessed her to do such a thing, but the groan that escaped from Chakotay helped her decide it would be something she did much more often from now on. 

Tasting herself on another’s tongue was another check on the list of firsts she didn’t know she’d be making when he tenderly kissed her while he allowed her to catch her breath. She embarked on another tactile exploration as her hands started at his backside and moved up and over his shoulders, stopped for a moment to caress his chest, then trailed fingertips and slightly scratched down his abdomen, causing Chakotay to gently buck at the ticklish sensation. When Kathryn skimmed her palm over his erection and moved to cup him, he took her earlobe into his mouth and gently nipped at it while releasing a soft growl. Kathryn instinctively returned the favor. When she wrapped her small hand around more girth than she had anticipated, her eyes sparkled, and the smile she gave him as she wiggled her eyebrows lit up the room. She began to pump him slowly, then quicker, and was shocked when Chakotay stopped her, pulled back, and spoke the first words between the couple since her order to stop talking. 

“Kathryn, no!” He immediately regretted his words and the unintentional force behind them when he saw the moment of insecurity flash across her face, the turn of her head not quick enough to hide it from him. With an index finger to her chin, he turned her to face him once more so he could look into her eyes. “Your touch is enough to make me explode, my love. I won’t last, and I want to last. I want to come inside you and bring you over the edge once more. Will you let me?”

Kathryn could not speak. She placed a hand to his cheek and nodded her consent with a sheen of joyful tears in her eyes. By the gods, he had done it. He had brought her back. He had made her want to stay. She could feel. And now, he wanted her to feel even more. 

Chakotay took the hand Kathryn had placed on his cheek and kissed her fingertips and palm before bringing it above her head on the pillow, pinning it there with his own. He then managed to hold himself up as he used his free hand to gather some of Kathryn’s natural lubrication, coated himself with it, and aligned himself with her opening. He kissed her with the same gentleness he used to penetrate her for the first time. Her body was more than ready to take him in, but he made sure to continue slowly because he knew she had not had the company of a man in years and was not sure if she had been using anything else to pleasure herself.

Once he was fully sheathed inside her, Chakotay felt Kathryn bring her legs around his waist, and she wrapped her arms around him in a firm embrace. Finally breaking her silence, she whispered into his neck, “Hold still a moment if you can. I want to feel you.” Chakotay complied and felt tears come to his eyes when he heard the quiver in her voice and soft cries escaping her lips. When he heard her whisper, “I love you,” he turned his head to gather her into a kiss that lasted both a moment and an eternity. 

Breaking the kiss, Kathryn looked into Chakotay’s eyes, smiled, and rolled her hips to signal that she was ready. Chakotay growled once more, and his mouth found its place at the sensitive flesh behind her ear as he began to move within her. Kathryn mewled as Chakotay set a languid pace. He intended to make this first coupling last as long as he possibly could. Hands, once again, began to explore. Kisses ranged from soft to fierce. Chakotay let out a laugh when he felt Kathryn nudge his rear as a rider would nudge a horse, indicating she wanted him to pick up the pace. He quickened his thrusts until he heard her breath quicken, then slowed again. He laughed again and nipped her neck when he heard her sigh in frustration. At last, he quickened his pace and brought her to the precipice. When she urged him to go faster still with, “I’m right there!” Chakotay pulled out. Before Kathryn could protest, he re-entered her with a forceful thrust, and she fell. She could have powered _Voyager_ back to Earth with the euphoria that rushed through her body. She was also sure B’Elanna could hear her cries all the way in engineering. Kathryn had surpassed seeing stars. There was an entire galaxy in her eyes. As she came back down, she couldn’t help but notice that Chakotay was still rock hard and had not come. How was that possible? How had he managed such control? She could hear his labored breathing and knew it was time to let him let go.

Cradling his face in her hands as she had what felt like an eternity ago, she brought him to look into her eyes. “Let go, my warrior. Share yourself with me.”

“I’m afraid to.” He sounded so very vulnerable, this man who had faced his commanding officer and challenged her. This man who had confronted and comforted his dearest friend. This man who had breached every parameter set before him was showing his vulnerability.

“What are you afraid of?” she asked tenderly.

“When I let go. When we share this moment. I may never get to share another one with you. I don’t want it to end. I can’t let go.” 

Kathryn kissed Chakotay with a sincerity he had never felt from another woman. “We will share as many of these moments as we want until the end of my days. This is not a one-time thing. I am yours, and you are mine. Come for me, Chakotay.” She kissed him again and rolled her hips once more.

With a promise of forever laid out before him, and the love of his life in his arms, Chakotay began to rock with Kathryn once more. Mere seconds passed before his rhythm faltered into frenetic motions, his body too sensitive from having restrained himself so long.

“Ah – Kathryn.”

“Yes, my warrior.”

“I am yours.”

“Yes.”

“You are mine.”

“Yes!”

“Come with me! Ah – Kathryn!”

She had not expected to come again but was with Chakotay as he found his release, breathless and clinging to this man and this feeling she had denied herself so long. When Chakotay was able to sense the outside world again and felt Kathryn’s legs relax back onto the bed, he made to roll off her, but she stopped him with her embrace. 

“Not yet.”

“Am I not crushing you?”

“Not at all. Let me feel you.”

They lay together like that until their breathing returned to normal and he involuntarily slipped out of her. When Chakotay rolled over and got out of bed, Kathryn panicked a bit inside but did not say anything at the risk of sounding clingy. Chakotay turned around, looking down and smiling at his love, her eyes glazed over and body flushed, sated from their night together. When he reached a hand out to her, she looked up at him with a question in her eyes.

“Come with me.”

“I just did!” she laughingly responded, prompting Chakotay to let out a chuckle of his own.

“Join me, then,” he said, still reaching out to her. 

She took his hand and followed him to the bathroom, where he drew a bath for them. He took great care in cleaning her, and she returned the gesture, before he leaned back with her nestled in front of him. They enjoyed the warmth of the water until just before it began to cool and rinsed off. Kathryn donned her peach robe and replicated a robe for Chakotay. As he tied his, he suggested she pour them both a glass of whiskey. Kathryn entered the living quarters to get their drinks and decided to pick up and sort out their discarded uniforms. While she did that, he removed the bed linens and replaced them with fresh ones so Kathryn would be comfortable when she lay in his arms, for he had no intention of leaving. 

As he entered the living area, Chakotay heard the song Kathryn had been playing earlier coming through the room. 

“My love?”

“I’m fine, Chakotay,” she replied as she walked over to hand him his glass. “I’m just listening to the words and reveling in the fact that, because of you, I no longer have to live them.”  
  
After a silent toast and downing of the amber Irish liquid, Chakotay took their glasses and placed them on Kathryn’s desk. Taking her into his arms, he began to sway to the music with her, listening more intently to the 21st-century ballad. Holding her even closer and enfolding her in his arms as they danced, Chakotay made a vow. “You’re absolutely right, my love. From now on, you only need turn to me when lonely calls.”


End file.
